This is NOT Life, Lisa Ling November 7, 2015Posted by Peter Varhol in Uncategorized.
Tags: Lisa Ling
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I confess that I am pretty offended by this CNN article by Lisa Ling, and of the series, entitled This Is Life, in general. I realize that what you are attempting to do is appeal to a certain demographic, and I am almost certainly not that demographic. Under most circumstances, I would simply ignore such worthless drivel.
But this is so insulting, to read about you telling the world that life is unwinding in a rave party, on Ecstasy, or Molly. And your whole I was young and should have known better was so after the fact and perfunctory that it was almost certainly added by an editor, again after the fact.
This is not life, despite your desperate attempt to make it so. Now, I’m no expert, but let me tell you what life is. Life is being told one day you have serious cancer, and require major and life-altering surgery. And you will likely die anyway. Life is not being convinced of that presumptive conclusion, because you were getting stronger, not weaker. And by knowing that, you do your research, finally knowing that you are not going to die. In fact, you are going to, well, live.
Life is waking up every morning, cherishing what you have and not willing to exchange it for anything in the world.
At worst, life is about being just a little bit better than you are at the moment.
You have no idea what life is, Lisa Ling. And I vehemently resent you trying to tell me, or a mass market what it is.
Why Aren’t You Dead? October 24, 2015Posted by Peter Varhol in Uncategorized.
Tags: cancer, surgery
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I’ve heard that on more than several occasions in the past several months. My story is that circa late April, 2015, I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
Well, in fact, the doctors didn’t know quite what I had, but they were sure it was bad. Very bad. I needed surgery within the next two weeks if I expected to have a full life (albeit a limited one, physically). The hospital was a reasonably good one, as those things go, and my doctors seemed very competent (I saw about a dozen different doctors during my stay).
I was fortunate that a couple of those doctors treated me as a person, rather than a collection of symptoms. I also took control of my health care, did research on my condition (thanks, Dr. Google), and determined that it was premature to talk about surgery.
It turned out well for me. While they still don’t know what I have (or had), I only have very minor vestiges of the symptoms today, and am otherwise fully functional. Further, as a distance runner, I am doing better than ever. I fully ran the 10 kilometer race in the Bilbao Night Marathon, just last weekend, and felt wonderful afterwards.
All too often, we lament that medical diagnosis comes too late to do any good. My father, a World War II veteran, saw a doctor for the first time in 45 years when he could no longer stand the pain of his colon cancer.
That taught me a lesson. I will die someday, but I won’t let myself be overcome by that sort of stupidity.
In my case, they wanted to do major surgery, without knowing what was wrong with me. Don’t let that happen to you. Do your own research, and make your own decisions.
That is all.
Somehow I Became an Athlete August 17, 2015Posted by Peter Varhol in Technology and Culture, Uncategorized.
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Just over a year ago I got a Fitbit. The quantitative feedback afforded by that simple device started me along a path to walking, then running. I ran (mostly walked) my first formal race just about a year ago, a 5K. I’ve run in a handful of others since, and the last two have been highly satisfying from a personal standpoint. The last one has been highly satisfying from a time standpoint.
I was in the hospital just over three months ago, with a dire diagnosis. In a discussion early one morning with one of my doctors, going over my options (I had few, if any at the time), he remarked, “Well, you’re an athlete.”
He was as nonplussed as I. “You run. You said you ran over three miles yesterday.”
Well, I did, but I didn’t think that made me an athlete. Apparently it did, at least in relation to just about anyone else in my situation (and even my doctors). He explained that exercising gave me a leg up on any surgery I might need, because I was in better shape for recovery.
I declined the major surgery several doctors had recommended, and today, it looks like I don’t need it.
Today, I am increasing my distance, to four or five miles. I have my second 10K run on the horizon, and am now thinking that under the right circumstances, I may actually be able to run a half marathon.
It’s like being a recovering alcoholic, really. I can fall off that wagon too easily. But just maybe I’m getting there. I seem to have redemption possibilities.
About Project Management and Health Care July 13, 2015Posted by Peter Varhol in Uncategorized.
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This is a difficult post to write. Not because I have any issues discussing my health. Rather, I’m concerned that this may be read by someone who might otherwise be inclined to hire me based principally on my intelligence and skills.
But all is not right with me, physically. I spent roughly five days in the hospital, about 75 days ago. I got transferred to a more comprehensive hospital part way through. Long story short, my initial diagnosis was pancreatic cancer. In the hospital, I learned that there is a difference between diagnosis and treatment. The head of surgery came to me, and said that I needed a Whipple’s procedure, which is the Hail Mary pass for treatment for pancreatic cancer. He didn’t know for certain what I had, or what caused it, but was almost certain that it required major surgery to address.
I liked and respected that surgeon, but I declined. Not because I had any rational reason to do so, other than the fact that it is major and life-altering surgery. Rather, it was because he didn’t know what was wrong with me, and neither did anyone else. It seems a drastic answer to inconclusive information.
Instead, I waited a month and got re-tested, with slightly more invasive techniques. I almost certainly don’t have pancreatic cancer. While we continue to refine my diagnosis, my current prospects for treatment include even the possibility of no surgery. I continue to live as normal a life as possible, with a special diet but almost no physical restrictions.
So what is this post about? It’s about a few things. First, it’s about taking control of your own health care. You are your health care project manager. Doctors are human, and they try to diagnose and treat the things they know something about. The many doctors you see for a major condition treat the symptoms that resonate with them, rather than treat the whole person, and they don’t communicate effectively with one another. You are the one who can tie together the disparate information possessed by your different doctors. Be your own project manager.
Second, it’s about what you do know and what you don’t. When there was a lot I didn’t know, I refused to make a major decision until I knew more. So I am always asking what is the next step, rather than what is the ultimate outcome.
Third, it’s about your focus when you are faced with life-altering decisions. Many friends and family were projecting me several months down the road, possibly recovering from significant surgery but likely not having the quality of life I had in the past. I refused to buy into that vision. Rather, I have said, and continue to say, that my next step is to get more information before I decide irrevocably on a treatment path. That philosophy has worked for me so far.
Last, and I think most important, it’s about determining the course of your life. I continued to try to live as normal a life as possible, most especially including my recent distance running endeavors. Yesterday, I ran a formal 5K race in which I creamed my personal best, even in my daily practice runs. All is not right with me, but my health and life are on a positive trajectory. I am healthy, in excellent shape, and striving for excellence. I will do that until I can’t any more.
And about my ongoing job search. If you don’t want to hire me based on how you perceive my health, that is your right. If you want to hire me, based on my instinctive positive attitude and determination, I could welcome it.
And if it doesn’t matter to you one way or the other, that’s okay too.
More on this topic at a later time.
Tags: computer security, PGP
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Governments can do an incredible amount of good. They provide services for the public good, such as law enforcement, transportation management, a legal framework, and so much more.
But government as an institution, or set of institutions, can also be incredibly stupid, especially where foresight is required. Especially in the realm of technology, which changes far more quickly than any government has the will to adapt.
So now we have a security hole in our web browsers, courtesy of the U.S. Government, which mandated that software products (such as web browsers) couldn’t use strong encryption
This is the same battle that Phil Zimmerman, author of PGP (Pretty Good Privacy) encryption, fought years ago after open-sourcing his algorithm and in doing so made it available to the world. It turned out that Zimmerman was right, and the government was wrong. In this case, wrong enough to cause potential harm to millions of computer users.
At this point, the government doesn’t seem to be interested in enforcing this any more, but some web browsers are still delivered with weak security. It was a vestige of their intent to comply with the law, and never removed as the law became, well, more flexible. But now it is doing some significant damage.
I am reminded, in a reverse way, of Frank Herbert’s science fiction character Jorj X. McKie, a card-carrying member of the Bureau of Saboteurs, a multi-planet government agency whose role was to, well, sabotage government. In this hypothetical future sphere, it needed to do so because government had become too fast, too efficient, and less deliberative in passing and enforcing laws. The Saboteurs threw a monkey wrench into government, slowing down the process.
But today we need to speed up government. Defining the boundaries of government is a debate that will continue on indefinitely. I generally agree that government should be a participant in this process. But it needs to be an informed and active participant, and not a domineering old grandparent.
Are We Focusing on the Wrong Airport Experiences? December 2, 2014Posted by Peter Varhol in Uncategorized.
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Unlike many people, I enjoy traveling, especially by airplane. We have no other service that can get you to almost anywhere in the world within a day, and usually within a few hours.
Certainly there are some less-than-comfortable aspects of this process, but it’s generally just for a few hours, so it’s not usually onerous. And I am experienced enough so that I do some of the little things that make it easier. I am a Delta Platinum Medallion (for the next year anyway), and get to choose seats with better legroom, and board early. Thanks to a long term investment years ago, and a free offer by my bank, I have entry to many airport lounges.
I’ve experienced plenty of delays and cancellations for various reasons in my travels, and all I really need is help in rescheduling. If I get ready service, I can tolerate delays.
So I’m always interested when articles talk about the future of air travel, especially from the standpoint of the airports. This particular article talks about the future of airports. In this case, CNN Money talks about a prospective airport under early development in Mexico City.
Many say that the US has lagged in building major infrastructure such as airports. While it’s true that the US hasn’t built a major airport since Denver International (and before that DFW and IAD, back in the 1960s), many of the major cities are land-constrained, more so even than their counterparts in Europe.
And that’s not to say that major construction hasn’t been occurring – new runways in Atlanta, new terminal buildings in Detroit, Las Vegas, JFK, and much more. But it is true that some airports are emotionally depressing, including all of the NYC airports, Midway, O’Hare, and LAX, to choose a few. Some people don’t care for security lines, but it is a sign of the times.
But airports, even major international airports, aren’t intended to be destinations in and of themselves. If everything goes right, you shouldn’t be spending more than 3-4 hours total in airports, even when making connections. The goal shouldn’t be to build architecturally majestic shopping destinations, but rather to move people in and out quickly.
There are some really great new airports in the world. From all accounts, Hong Kong and Incheon look really nice. I’ve been to Zurich multiple times, and I think they have modernized very well. But that’s not really the purpose of an airport. Give me something that gets me in and out fast, and I will be happy with dour surroundings and limited shopping opportunities.
Mother Nature Will Win, But Sometimes Has a Little Help November 28, 2014Posted by Peter Varhol in Uncategorized.
Tags: fraud, psnh, snotober
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In my case, this week, that help is coming from my so-called public utility, Public Service of New Hampshire. (otherwise known as three lies in one name) As I noted earlier, I do believe that there is little we can do when Mother Nature comes to do us harm. Mother Nature’s destructive forces are always more powerful than our attempts to mitigate them.
But my public utility is aiding and abetting. Three years ago, we had “Snotober”, the massive wet snowstorm at the end of October, just prior to Halloween. It was about a foot and a half of snow. In the city I live, there were approximately 30 utility poles down, including one across the street, a block from my house.
That was a monster. And while I was inconvenienced for five full days without power while I made my living at home (the bigger problem was that Comcast Internet was down by about the same time), I worked around it, convinced that this was truly Mother Nature at her best.
This pre-Thanksgiving storm was no such monster. It was less than a foot, just a couple of years after the utility engaged in a massive tree-clearing campaign, vowing that it wouldn’t happen again.
PSNH, I call you out. You are a fraud and a waste of my money. Because you are a public utility, I have no choice in the matter, but you do. You can do better; if you don’t, it’s because you as a company and a culture choose not to.
Prove me wrong. I know you won’t.
James Bond is Not About What You Think November 10, 2014Posted by Peter Varhol in Uncategorized.
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I have always been a James Bond fan. There is certainly an element of tech, charisma, adventure, and even comic absurdity in his character and roles, and I’ve always appreciated that.
But there is more to Bond than that. To fully understand, you have to at some point read the original Ian Fleming novels and stories. Some of them are laughable; after an intimate encounter with Pussy Galore, called out as a lesbian in Goldfinger, Bond asks about her sexuality. “I’ve never been with a real man before,” was her irrational response. Even in my youth, I laughed out loud at that one.
But Bond was always about duty and country. He was violent, just as much so as his adversaries. It’s not always clear who the good guy is. What made him believable, and even in some ways likeable, was that he carried out his violent duties in the realm of Queen and country. His loyalty was never in question (“When do you sleep, Bond?” “Never on the Queen’s time, sir”).
Granted, there was a time when we trusted in our superiors, and our country, more than we do today. And he has certainly questioned authority, more often than not.
Tomorrow is Veterans Day in the US. I served, though not particularly well (my DD-214 does say “honorable”), but I remain proud of that service. Today, I have to ask, what would we sacrifice our lives for? Thousands of servicemen have done so over the last decade, and millions in the past. I would like to think that, beyond our political and religious beliefs, upbringing, or world view, we serve something greater than ourselves.